I couldn’t imagine its been a year that I was planning and preparing to enter another phase of my life in the US as a part of my Humphrey Fellowship-the professional affiliation. For the time being, I was very much both exhausted and frustrated as I was leaving my nine-months home Phoenix and moving to a new place, Atlanta about which many people had already cautioned me, though most of those things I was already made afraid of Atlanta proved wrong as I spent six-weeks there.
The memories of air traveling, Metro in Phoenix and Marta in Atlanta. Except some few untoward and grim incidents, it was a wonderful travelling nonetheless. The friendly gesture of people while passing by and greetings have not moved out of my thoughts.
This all makes me nostalgic as I look at my life now, no comparison in terms of facilities, luxuries and offcourse insecurity. Life has taken a u-turn in so many aspects.
I have seen after coming to Pakistan people changing attitudes and they were no more the same persons I would know before my going to the US. To them also, I was not the same Lubna, however, one thing, I can say about myself I have never ever developed a quirk in my personality after Humphrey year that I am America returned and I have really gained a lot. Rather, all this hampered me to say anything about my stay and learning in the US most of the time. As most of the people mock about it and some in their jealousy don’t know how to react, so its better to be quiet. Some of my colleagues in my old work place without any reason were intimidated as I rejoined after coming from the US. I am still trying to probe their insecurity due to my presence.
So far I don’t know how to make the best out of Humphrey Year.
Its been a month of working with PTV. Overall, people are quite welcoming and open hearted here as most of them already working here are permanent employeEs, hence, no insecurities. Although, I don’t believe that being a permanent employee can absolve you from being insecure as, its your confidence and abiLities which give you the assurance that no one can take your place and its the values of being a professional. As a whole, so far its going good experience, I don’t miss Geo, as I left it out of desperation and to grow myself. I also learned a lesson during my job in Geo that don’t be happy on popularity of someone, when you are not getting a small amount of fame from that person’s popularity. The life has its own styles, and I have chosen to adopt my own. As I remember my self made quote from last year Humphrey Seminar: Leaders make their own ways. I have made my own way.
The good time in the guise of memories always trails beside you like it is with me. I miss my American friends who gave me so much love and taught me so much, I miss my Humphrey Fellows with whom I spent nine months and the American land which made everything easy for me during my stay there. Yet, nothing can overtake the place of home sweet home.
Lubna Thomas Benjamin 