Celebrating birthday in my own way

Hi friends,

Thanks to all of you for wishing me on my birthday. Those who couldn’t do, I can forgive you for that considering that I love you:), and wish you all the best in your journey of life.

This is my third birthday away from my family in Pakistan, and over the years celebrating it alone, I have learned so much. Out of so many other things, the first thing I miss the most is that when you wake up, you don’t have anyone to wish you physically, other than my Facebook family and friends. Secondly, no one is going to cook the special meals, and bring cake for you. All these customs, I have been accustomed to like all of you are too.

However, over the past years, I have with God’s help have found my path to happiness and started enjoying birthdays while making my own celebrations. Honestly, nothing I have done can replace the family’s love and the innocent ways we used to celebrate the birthday, nonetheless, figuring out my own ways of organizing my birthday activities has given me the pleasure and be thankful to God more than ever for Him being beside me. In these two-years specifically, every time I stumbled, there was only one hand sustained me and that was God.

Most of you are well aware of my background, those who don’t know, I jus like to tell you that I have started a new journey in the US two years back, and like any other journey; this one has so many thistles too. However, I am stronger than before and see the hand of God more powerfully than ever in my life.

Celebrating birthdays alone has not only given me enough time to reflect on my past year, but also to plan my future. Happily single, which most of you wonder why I said that, which I can easily explain. Simple reason, haven’t found anyone. Then most of you would step on the conclusion that: “Lubna, you are too picky”. Alright, lets argue about the meaning of picky. I won’t go for a long one…my parents have given me good education out of their poverty…they gave me the best thing what they couldn’t have. If looking for the traits not all that you have in your life partner, but at least him being rational, sensible and educated enough to talk to you  is being picky, then I am sorry this is not the right definition for being ‘picky’. This is called the rational thinking. Why being picky is only applied to the women. What about those ignorant men who reject the girls in Pakistan and other countries only based on their dark colors. What do you call this ignorance?

I had this lady once asking me on my birthday about my age, pretending she was more worried about me not getting married at the age or much earlier age I should have. Upon knowing I am in my mid-thirties, she started panicking. ” Oh really, Lubna, you won’t have children. You should immediately marry.” I started laughing seeing her panicking. I asked if anything is ok, and who should I marry. She said:” No, its not ok. if you don’t get married at the certain age, then you won’t have children. She told me further on, at my age she had 3 children. I said ok then the problem solved. You have your children, you won the trophy. I am much happier not winning that trophy she had. I said please stop sympathizing with me. I am not desperate as this life has so much to offer than getting married. On the funny note, by the way who cares if I would have children or not, the world is already over populated.

Later on, I stopped going to that gathering and trust me, I am much happier, as no one pressurizes me to do in my life what is simply not important. Marriage is an important institution and I do want to get married , but not at the pressure and in panicky that all my friends are married and having babies. Their circumstances are different than mine.

In my independence and just be myself, I have learned ,Be the master of your own happiness , and let no one else decide what you have to do. Don’t care what others think, as you know yourself better than any one else. Only trust in God and yourself.

I celebrated my birthday by going to church, enjoying  Starbucks coffee, Vietnamese food and cold- stone ice-cream. Nothing else would have made it better, and off course my mom’s prayer.

Thanks again for your lovely wishes.