For my mother

Proverbs 31: 25-30

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

I was singing few verses of the above mentioned scripture on Wednesday during the choir’s practice for the mother’s day . There were few verses that had to be read by a male choir member in between our singing. When there was time to recite them, the choir member just could read the half portion and couldn’t read the whole, as his voice started to shake and then eventually he burst into tears. It all happened during the practice and the words were so touching that not only he, but all of us had tears by the time he said that he couldn’t read it.

Most of my choir members are now grandparents and few are great grandparents too. And, seeing these emotions in such an age for your mother is the clear example of the reality that the mother’s love is always remembered and missed no matter how old you are, thats the love that no one can substitute even. A choir member sitting beside me was sharing it with me that when it would be read on Sunday, many eyes would be filled with tears. Being the youngest in choir besides the choir director Stephanie, I have a strong bond with all the members and a very different and unique with Letha, who has been teaching me driving since January 2014. Both with Letha and Doc, her husband I have an extremely sweet relationship. I talk to them about my family, work and so many other matters. They all the time listen so patiently.

As the mother’s day is approaching and as we are going to sing a special song, I started to think about the importance of a mother in one’s life. As it is said: ” Mother’s lap is the first school of child’s.” As, I have already written in earlier blogs that being the youngest of all siblings I have different sort of attachment with my parents, and certainly they have too with me. I am so proud to say today that I have been blessed to be brought up by God-fearing and empathetic parents in a Christian family. I thank them for teaching me the values to respect and love others irrespective of any faith, race or creed . I also don’t have a second doubt in stating that a mother’s role always remains vital and prime in raising a child and building a family. However, this is also the fact that both father and mother are extremely important in making and prospering of a family, and teaching their children the best values they can. But, naturally the mother has been having this bond with a child even before his/her birth that she knows the needs and the values necessary to raise the child. This bond gets stronger with the passing of age, every day, month and year.

On this mother’s day as I am away from my mother, I thought to write something for her. The things sometimes I didn’t say her but she knows how much she means to me.

My mother got married when she was 18. Been strong in faith with the Lord ever since she was born; she has always made it sure that I and my other siblings should have a strong connection with God. Thats how we are all raised by her, and thats what I have always seen her starting her day with worship and prayer. Both her parents had spent their lives with God and this is what has been passed on to her by her parents. My mother has also started serving God from her youth and until now she is in this service .  Not only that, I have always seen the ladies coming to her discussing their problems and going away with a solution. She is the best secret keeper and I have never heard her sharing with us any of the secrets the people had entrusted her with. As loving, forgiving and lively spirit she has, she is also  gifted with the skills to speak publicly. She can be put on spot and then talk to the point not going beyond the discussion.

Besides this aspect of my mother, she has also confronted many challenges and troubles. She was so young when my oldest brother got sick and I remember how she kept encouraging him to fight back until he got on his feet . I never saw her stumbling in her struggle to make life easier for my  brother who needed her attention more than anyone of us that time. Yet, going back and forth from home to hospital, she never forgot her duties towards us. The years passed by when one day my brother started to walk and now he is back on his feet. I was too young to remember how she and my father coped up with the sickness of my brother , but now when she shares the story or my brother does; I fall in a deep thought that how strong she has remained and how her strength made my brother restored.

My mother has been very blessed to have a husband like my father who had a liberal view and approach, and who always took pride in my mother’s abilities. Thats because of my father’s encouragement and support that my mother started all her social and religious activities, but she was well deserved of what she was permitted by my father. She always made it sure that her home was her priority and thats how she looked after the taste of my every sibling. And, not a single work I found pending by her. I could never even think that how could a child ever repay to even a single act of mother. I remember, she knows what vegetables, pulses and some other dishes I don’t like to eat, and so as my other siblings and how she would cook sometimes different dishes according to the taste.

I am sure all mothers would do what I am writing and saying and some have also raised up their kids all by themselves, but this is the special day when I thought of mentioning how I have seen my mother over the years. Its so difficult to even put in words, it would always be. Being the youngest, I have a special affiliation with my parents. I have spent and experienced every moment with them; from laughter to sorrows to accomplishments and during all these times I found no one closer to be me than both of them. Its her support and encouragement that I could adopt a profession like journalism without pushing me into daily home affairs. She always made is sure that I was doing my job without any pressure from home. It doesn’t mean that she never let me do any work, she taught me and let me do all the work which are very essential for any woman to do. But when it came to  my job, then she always supported me to keep my focus on work.

I am away from her and now I can feel very well that how I have to do all the things which she would do for me even without I asked her to do them. She would do everything without expecting anything in return. No other relation can do such things without any reciprocity. I think we all sometimes tend to realize these things when we have to do them ourselves, but this way we also know more about a great person who used to do all this for us.  More than this, you also realize that now there is no one around you who can listen to your arguments or who will take care of you just in the manner she used to do. Mother’s heart is so big to accept anything from children whether good or bad, and then to throw out any bad stuff immediately without hoarding it, yet keep boasting about the good she gets from her children. No other relation has such a heart.  God has given this heart just to parents and then more to mother to bear all this beyond her capacity.  I know how my arguments are ended now as no other relation can tolerate them. Although, I just do it  when its needed now, but mostly with one friend who is patient enough to listen.

I started to see another aspect  in my mother after the death of my father. Thats what I have already heard from my friends who have lost their fathers before mine, that mothers can be both father and mother, but rarely you will find father acting like a mother. I have started to experience that. Besides the vacuum that my father has left which can never be filled, the rest of the household affairs are managed by my mother just like before. I have been blessed to have a caring father too whose love was not lesser than my mother. But, thats true my mother besides losing her life partner, and it took her a long time to restore to her normal life; has controlled the situation after my father’s death so well. She is not recovered from her loss or sorrow and neither she nor us would ever until we die, but she has got back her strength which she knows is needed to keep the family together and running.

Ever since I have come here in the US and the challenges I am facing in a new country and a place. I know how discouraged and impatient I could become sometimes, but she always encourages me. It should be the other way round, but whenever I sound disturbed or discouraged, she always says something which lights my spirit. I owe her my confidence, abilities and all the good I have. I don’t know how would I be, had she been not there for me always.

I want to tell her today that she is the best woman on this earth and no one can ever take her place. The values and the manners she has brought me up with will always reflect her who is behind them. I thank God for giving me the best mother. I want to tell her that no matter how far we are from each other, we are nearer than before. Our bond needs no physical proximity as our spirits are always held together and connected with each other. God bless you Ami jee , and may He use you more for His work.