The last time I had celebrated father’s day it was in 2012. Its been almost now two years and half since I lost my father and with him not only my celebration of this day has vanished, but also the calling of relationship ” Abu jee”. My friend, mentor, supporter and my abu is no more. So much has changed after his death and so much I have realized about the significance of this relationship.
Its the human nature to take the things for granted which you have, but it can’t be applied to the relationship of parents and children. I had a unique relationship with my father, he was not only my friend but he was also my biggest supporter. He let me go after my dreams and then later he took pride of my accomplishments. I could argue with him for hours and then the very next moment it was as if nothing had happened. There were some times, when he showed the attitude and then I would say, ” Sorry, Abu jee, jaaney dein.”
The bond I had with my father was stronger than any other relationship. From my schooling to the masters to the professional career, my father had always stood beside me and supported me. When I started earning and had my first salary I realized how difficult it is to earn, which was in no comparison to the way what my father had done for us. He was a talented person could not get the education after the matriculation due to the death of my grandfather when my father was just 16. Being the only child of his parents, he was raised in a very strict environment as my grandmother was a very strict person. He couldn’t enjoy the spoiling phase that the children mostly do in the hands of their parents in a very young age. But when he became father himself he provided me and my siblings the life of comfort.
Like any other father, he did his best by doing the handwork to give us the best education. I still remember the scorching heat when he used to do welding in his welding shop and would mostly come home in the night with the swollen eyes. He didn’t get any formal education to be a photographer or a writer, but he had these skills which he couldn’t put into profession due to lack of the opportunities and the burden of the family.
I have realized how much handwork he had put and how much pain he had gone through to give me a comfortable and the best life which he couldn’t have. He always wished for all of his children the facilities and the best things which he couldn’t enjoy. All parents do, and we all realize it the time when we reach their stage.
My biggest attraction of the Father’s day was to find the best perfume which he liked. He would always love my gift. For every girl, the first hero is always her father and thats the qualities she wants in her life partner. For me my father was not only my hero but also my best friend. He provided for me and my family a free environment as he was a very strong person and he wanted to see us all strong as well. An encouraging husband who always wanted my mom to be the leader in the area she was serving. As a result today my mom is also a strong woman, as she is the wife of a man who not only loved her but respected her.
On every father’s day after his demise, I miss the smile on his face after looking at the perfume… that smile had certainly had the deep meaning. I miss calling Abu jee and talking to him, as with that one relationship everything is also gone …only the memories are left which will always be fresh and beautiful to cherish. My father is no more in this world, we all have to leave; but the important part is what we are leaving. There is no substitute for this relationship and thats why until I live I have his beautiful smile and strong personality upholding me everyday.
Miss you Abu jee.
Lubna Thomas Benjamin 